The Resplendent ChairflowerPosted: April 22, 2013
The Head of State of the Antisocial Republik of Kleptokratz is the man you see above, the Resplendent Chairflower. He holds absolute power, but very rarely makes public appearances, delegating many of his public engagements to his dog. The image above was taken from a state television transmission. He pontificates in front of a backdrop of typical Kleptokran pomp, draped in Kleptokran Crests and Vomwuffas.
What’s his real name? What kind of character is he? The only Western leader to ever meet him was Jacques Chirac. Speaking in 1997 he described him as: “either drunk, or a bit simple.”
Our contact gave us these words about what life is like under his regime:
“If can you imagine two rutting stags trying to force feed each other a raw sausage. In this model, each antler represents one of the four estates of society. The left stag is our malevolent desires and temptations. The right stag our aspirations, empathy and virtue. The sausage is power. In the background, a sad farmer is throwing a bucket of water over the both of them. He is the rest of the world.”