Dogs Found Without Their Hat will be Put Down

Dogs Found Without Their Hat will be Put Down

Dogs Found Without Their Hat will be Put Down

In 1978, the Kleptokran economy was on its knees. Money was short, unemployment was spiraling, and the country was fast running out of fuel as the harsh winter approached.

As the crisis took hold, the Resplendent Chairflower  appeared on ARKR, delivering a slurred address to the nation that lasted for several hours. During the course of his speech he revealed that Habius had entered his room the night before clutching a lump of charcoal in his mouth. He had seemed agitated and yappy.

Habius had sketched out a series of drawings on the floor of the Chairflower’s bedroom that indicated the reason for his rage. The other dogs of the Republik did not pay him enough respect. Not only that, they had lost all respect for themselves.  They were lazy. They were scruffy. They were bang out of order.

The Chairflower immediately passed a resolution which decreed that all working class Kogdogs must shape up, adopt a positive attitude and wear a formal hat at all times. If they didn’t they would be put down and burned for fuel.

Hat makers sprang up all around the Republik overnight. An elite force of dog wardens were called up to implement the new law. Unemployment was wiped out. Fuel shortages were eradicated. The country rejoiced among the toasty sizzle of unkempt Kogdog.

Kleptokratz was saved.

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